Slowdance on the Inside
by meguhbot
Summary: "keeping you in my life might kill me. but letting you go will." all human. B/E
1. Chapter 1

_now and again I get the feeling  
well if I don't win, I'm a gonna break even  
rescue me, should I go wrong  
if I dig too deep, if I stay too long_

**BPOV**

I sigh as I look at the clock, I cringe internally as I realize ten minutes have passed by. Only thirty minutes until it's time for me to close.

Time in Forks always seems to move slow. It's a sleepy town, and there is nothing exciting that ever really happens. There are parties and beach get togethers, usually the same people every night. My father Charlie, is the chief of police. His job consists of poker and trying to keep the local wild wolves out of town.

There hasn't been a wolf sighting in the nine months since my mom's death.

I flip through a magazine tabloid, almost hating myself for taking the job here at Newton's. It's a grocery store and it's nine thirty on a Sunday night, and it's the tail end of summer.

I glance at my reflection in the nearby window. My hair is long and brown. It's nothing to look twice at, and my eyes match. Nothing about me screams my name. I should be named Jane or Tammy; not anything exotic or pretty as Isabella, or Bella which is what I go by.

Headlights shining through the window catch me off guard. I smile when I see the truck that seems to include my very best days and more recently, nights. The only exciting thing about Forks to me is Edward Cullen. I watch as he swaggers in with my brother behind him. He glances at me behind the counter with his lazy half smirk that gets him whatever the hell he wants. Always. His hair is always a complete mess from his tendency to run his hands through it; or because he was just freshly fucked. You never know with him. His eyes are a bluish kind of green, and his jaw could cut glass.

"Belly Bella! You look bored!" My brother, Emmett says. Em is six four and he looks like he's Forks own version of the Hulk. He annoys the shit out of me, but I secretly love that his best friend is Edward. We have the twin thing going on, but we're complete opposites. He also happens to be one of my best friends.

"Well, yeah. My last customer left..." I look at the clock, "three hours ago. There's only so much busy work you can do in this piece of shit before you wanna blow your brains out."

Emmett's already down the aisle with his arms full of shit, but I hear Edward snort.

"Bella." He says, softly in greeting. His eyes are always so intense. I wish I knew what went on inside of his head. We stick to this weird staring contest that seems to always go on.

I look away first, shaking my head when I hear something crash to the floor and Emmett's string of curse words.

"Clean that shit up, you son of a bitch." I yell at him. I watch as he walks to the front, puts down an array of chips, beef jerky, red bull and bologna. He grabs a broom and dust pan, side smirking at me. His dimples suck.

Edward shakes his head. "Rose needs to get the fuck back from New York before I kill this idiot." He flings his arm out, shaking his head.

Rose is my best friend and Emmett's girlfriend. She went to New York to visit family for the week. I'm pissed because she left me with these two who are nothing but trouble. Edward is more trouble for a number of reasons, all pertaining to my heart strings and verbal filter.

"I'll help you hide the body. Also, I have pull with the local authorities..." I trail off, causing him to smile.

Edward on a good day is beautiful. When he smiles, it does something inside of me. I never wanted to be the girl that fell for her brother's best friend; but somewhere between junior year and this summer, he began to make my heart beat a little bit faster, I blushed a little more, and dressed a lot more girly.

I smile when I think of how proud Rose would be. I miss her and in moments like this, I'd kill to tell her just how much Edward being ten feet away from me and looking at me like he is, is messing with my head.

_Something happened two nights ago, which was the last time I saw him before tonight. We were at some party on the beach, and I was watching the fire trying not to follow or look at him. I jumped when I felt him near me. Edward sank down next to me on my towel, and bumped his shoulder with mine. _

_He was as close as he could be, and it was probably the beer, and definitely the weed but it sent my emotions into overdrive._

"_What are you doing? You're so quiet..." He trails off. I turn to look at him, and he's looking at me in a new way. The fire reflects in his eyes, and I don't miss the new fire burning in his eyes. _

_I shrug, unable to answer him._

_I feel his pinky rub against mine, and his touch warms me. _

"_Bella." He's closer and I angle myself to look straight at him. He pushed a piece of hair behind my ear and he's looking at my lips and back into my eyes._

Please kiss me_, I think_

_He leans a little closer and then Emmett is sitting next to him, and tickling my legs, and what the fuck?_

"..tonight, and we should totally go. You've been all crazy cat lady on us. What the fuck is that look for?" Em's voice brings me back to the present.

He's standing across the counter with his arms folded.

"Huh?" I ask, ignoring his glare and look to Edward. He shrugs and smirks, no help.

"I said Ty's having another party tonight. We should go. Think you can hang, granny Swan?"

"Yeah, whatever. Are you seriously getting all of this shit, Em?"

He shrugs, "I'm a growing boy and I needa keep up my strength for Rose. I can't wait to fu..." I glare at him and shove a bag of chips at him,gutting him off.

He laughs, and I shake my head.

"Come on, Em. You done shitting around? B needs to close up, and we gotta go get some shit." Edward says, finally.

Emmett nods, pays for his shit and leans over the counter to rub my head. "See ya in twenty minutes, twin. We'll be waiting for you." He walks out, and Edward hovers.

"I'll be right out, Em." He says, tossing him his keys.

Edward walks to the candy shelf next to the counter and grabs a pack of Lemonheads and some gum.

"Will that be all?" I ask, scanning them and taking his five. I'm nervous and why isn't he rushing out like he should be?

He shakes his head and his voice is rough, "Me and you, girl . You don't get a choice, tonight we talk."

He grabs his candy, not even bothering to get his change. I watch him walk to the door, and flip the annoying "Newton's is open and proudly serving You" sign to "Sorry, we're closed."

He walks to his truck, shrugs when Em says something and never looks back.

**xo **

**not beta'd**

**next chapter... next week-ish. doing my best to make sure real life doesn't eff this one up. please be patient; i'm kinda planning a wedding and going through hell with family stuffs.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer...Not mine. **

**BPOV**

"Soooo, do you think it means anything? Do you have feelings for him?" Alice asks, taking a bite of a carrot. Her eyes are lit up, and she's bouncing slightly.

I eye her over my beer bottle.

"Seems like you know more than I do, wise one. Why don't you tell me?"

We've been at Tyler's for a while now. Alice and I are sitting on top of the island in the kitchen. Mostly everyone is outside, with the exception of a few stragglers. The door to the backyard is open; even outside in a distance, I try not to look when I hear a laugh. I know it's Edward's.

I try to remember when I started noticing tiny things about him and I can't.

When I got off of work, Em and Edward were waiting for me in the driveway. It was almost like Edward hadn't said we would talk. Sitting in the middle of his truck between him and Emmett was hard enough. I felt nervous, like I would crawl out of my skin being so close to Edward, with his thigh against mine.

We got to Tyler's house, and I immediately found Alice and told her we needed to smoke. After, I then told her most of what happened. Of course it didn't surprise me that she had an idea something happened.

Alice throws a piece of carrot at me. "Tell me, dammit."

I sigh.

"I don't know what it means, Ali. I'm not used to this in-between. It's Edward, for god's sake. I've never been nervous or jumpy around him. He's seen me in my underwear, and he's seen me at my worst. I've never had to wonder about my feelings for him. This shit is a new level of awkward, and one almost kiss and like twelve words and it seems to have turned me into some crazy girl."

"You are a crazy girl, but it's about time that you see it. I think you need to think about it, also." She says.

I ignore her, and grab another beer.

Edward, Em and Jasper walk inside. I try not to focus on Edward; it's hard. He stands next to me by the counter, but I can't look at him. I feel like I can't breathe.

"Let's go to the beach." Em says, resting his head on his hands. He looks ridiculous in this small kitchen. "This party shit is miserable without Rose."

Alice seems excited about this idea, I shrug.

We walk outside, and I really need space away from Edward.

"Ride with me." Edward's voice is a soft whisper in my ear. I jump, not realizing he was as close as he is.

I nod.

I try not to think about the last time we were at the beach. The smirk Alice gives me as she jumps into Jasper's car with Emmett doesn't help.

I don't know why Em decides to ride with Jasper and Alice, but I don't want to ask. I definitely don't want to ruin the silence in Edward's truck.

The nervous, jittery feeling is back, and I feel wired. I need to calm the fuck down. Edward's driven me in his truck thousands of times. This shouldn't be any different.

I should have known better.

"So." He says, trailing off.

I look at him, raising an eyebrow, and trying to remember to breathe. He parks his truck and turns off the engine. He doesn't move to get out.

He runs his hands through his hair.

"You've been quiet tonight." He says.

I take a deep breath. I've always been honest with him, nothing's changed.

"It's kind of hard when I've been trying to figure out if you were going to kiss me the other night, and just what it is we have to talk about."

He narrows his eyes at me.

"Isn't it obvious? It's why you went MIA the last two days. Of course, I was going to kiss you."

"But why? Why now?"

He doesn't say anything for a while, his hands are still around the steering wheel, and his knuckles are white.

"Remember that time Ben tried to kiss you?" He says, shrugging his shoulders.

I nod, "You told Emmett, and he told Ben that Charlie would shoot him if he came within twenty feet of me. Ben still won't look at me and that was almost three years ago."

We were fifteen when that happened, and I was so mad at Edward I wouldn't talk to him for a week. It was more the fact that it was Edward that was so concerned about me kissing someone. He was busy kissing Lauren, why should he care?

I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't realize how close Edward is, or that he's looking at me, green eyes so serious. When I turn my head, his breath fans over my face. Lemon heads, beer and mint. His voice creating a fog.

He takes a deep breath.

"I don't know when it happened, but sometime around freshman year and Thursday night, I think I fell in love with you, Bella."

**hi.**

**still not beta'd. i wrote this chapter three times before i felt comfortable with it.  
**

**reviews make me happy.**

**my pawpaw isn't doing well. we don't expect him to make it through the rest of the month. it stinks, but he says he's tired of suffering. i plan on updating soonish, but if not, well...**

**xo**


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